No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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