And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
