i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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