all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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