I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Randomize
