Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
