i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
