oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
