can u get pink eye on your cock?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
