I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
