At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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