The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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