dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
