Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
