At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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