the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
She said her name was "party"
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
