There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
i think im in europe. pls send help
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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