Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
