Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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