Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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