$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
