remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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