Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
