Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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