I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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