Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize