what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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