I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize