I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
