My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
