About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
