butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
