So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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