I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
