home. puking in laundry basket.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Randomize
