I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
