its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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