do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
The ass gains better be worth it
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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