Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
