i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
