so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
