I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
