remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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