We're like a lot better than the average bears
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
