Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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