Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Randomize
