If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
