My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
