I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
