It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Randomize
