Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I think your dad took our porno
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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