I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
