I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Welp...herpes.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize