i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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