So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
