i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
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