I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
