But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
