the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
