He is an equal opportunity slut.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Randomize
