i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
