I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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