remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize