I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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