im drinking this country out of the recession.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
