so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
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