I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
