Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Even my vagina gasped.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
