He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
