i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
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