You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
